Too Much Going On

I can't really focus right now. My life is taking interesting turns left and right, I'm sort of just taking things as they come now.

I think I'm gonna just hermit myself for a while..

Post for the sake of posting

I realize I may just be writing to myself at this point as many of my blogs don't really have many followers... I don't think my life would be interesting enough to attract followers. In any case, updates...

Nothing really has changed. My situation is still the situation.. School is coming to a close.. exams are coming up soon.. stress will run high.. so school stress, life stress, hopefully no emotional stress but that's always the case... I think I've fallen for this girl.. as much as I tried not to let myself fall so hard.. it's happened.... now all I can do is wait.. and see... especially since I'm not the only one who's fallen for her.. Jason Mraz has a song that describes my situation right now... "I Won't Give Up"... I just hope it doesn't come to a point where I have no choice but to give up... but anything worth doing should be done with your full effort so... She is definitely someone that I feel is worth it.. despite her flaws.. but I guess... when you like someone enough you're willing to look past all that... I guess only time will tell... I wish I could fast forward life... just one time... would it be worth it?

Let it be...

I think my mood and my emotions are directly correlated with the weather. This past week the weather has been amazing and in like manner my mood has also been very much on top of the world. A lot of things happened and I've been able to put things into perspective. So as such, I think my view on life has been a lot more optimistic. In any case. I just want to let you all know that I'm positive in my outlook for the future. Live, love, laugh.

Why do I do this?

There's hope for something good, then there's just dumb hope for something that may not even come true. Right now I'm not really sure which hope I have. I'd like to think that the hope I have is something worth hoping for and waiting for. People say that you shouldn't really wait for things to come but that you should go out and get what it is that you desire. But right now I'm doing just that, waiting for something I want because... I was told to wait I guess. Is this stupid of me? I don't know... I'd like to think not but there's a huge part of me that feels I'm just wasting my time. At the same time it's that hope for something good that is making me wait... ... so what do I do?

I won't say I love her because it's something that's thrown around too much and often used so much that it's meaning has been watered down. I will say that I have a strong attraction towards this girl... but why? I really am a hopeless romantic... always hoping for things but overlooking things... I don't know.. Love is blind? maybe... Does it help that the music I love listening to is all sappy and romantic... mmm.. I don't know.. I like it though..

Growing up

I guess I've lived in this phase of my life long enough. I think it's time for me to take on more responsibility and take control of my life instead of letting things happen to me. I should start taking initiative and make things happen for me. I guess this is the sort of epiphany I've come to realize and understand... well more so finally acknowledge instead of trying to ignore it and trying to hide from it.

I hope that things go better for me as I try to make an impact on the world and stop waiting for life to interact with me. I just need to start getting to work.. and with that I guess I'm gonna get off this blog for now. Gonna start with the little things and take it one step at a time. Like everything else I do.. just take things one step at a time.

ON a totally different note, it seems the more I try to fight it the more I'm falling in love... one day at a time i guess. It seems corny or even cliche but I look forward to the mornings when I can wake up and see that good morning message from her. I'm excited every time I get a message from her. My heart sinks when she isn't around, but am always so happy when she surprises me with phone calls.
To her, I'm just another friend... but to me.. she means the world to me... I sound like some love sick teenager... *sigh* well... one day at a time... time to study and make things happen. = )