What do you want to be?

I'm at a phase in my life where every day I am being asked this exact question. "What do you want to be?" Honestly, I don't know what I want to be. Ever since I was a child my dreams have always been so wide. Some kids dreamed of being pilots, firefighters, police officers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc. What did I dream of becoming? All of those. Every job I ever could imagine or think of I have wanted to be at some point or another. Sanitation engineer, postman, public transit bus operator, librarian, professional athlete (although admittedly most boys growing up wanted to be this), the list goes on. Why is this relevant to where I'm at now? Well even today I face the same dilemma, but with the impending responsibility of being an adult now looming over me, and that same question "What do you want to be?" bludgeoning me over the head repeatedly.

"What does this have to do with anything?" you may be asking yourself. Well the reason this is such an important thing to me and to millions of people around the world is as follows. Without a goal of where we want to be in life, then it really doesn't matter where we go. I'm reminded of the cat from Alice in Wonderland written by Lewis Carol when it converses with Alice.

She asks "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?", a similar question posed by many in their 20's and onward about life? Where do I go from here? What's the next stage of life?

The cat replies "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to", when we have a goal in life of what we want to accomplish, then knowing where to go becomes a lot easier. We have steps to take in order to get to the goal and when we take action in moving forward it guides our decisions and choices.

Alice tells the cat "I don't much care where". Sometimes we don't necessarily care what we do on the day to day and for many that is fine. They are still able to live very capable fulfilling lives. For me however, it's not so much I don't care, but I feel a sense of anxiety when trying to determine the perfect path for my life.

This is where this whole thing comes full circle to me, the cat responds to her statement with the following "Then it doesn't matter much which way you go"
Alice chimes in with "So long as I get somewhere"
The cat then says something profound, which can be applied to a life without goals or direction when he says "Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough"

For most people their goals include health, happiness and prosperity in some way shape or form. Those who are driven to achieve this, attain these goals much faster than those who  have no goals or direction. The difference between the two is precisely the cat's sage advice which essentially that, in order to get to some point down the line, it will happen regardless of what we do. If we have no goals, we meander around going to and fro, and eventually we will get to where we will end up, but it takes longer, and often requires more effort to get there.I goalless life requires more work in finding where one needs to be in life.

Why bring this up or even share this? I'm not entirely sure. To me blogging has become some sort of stress relief. My life as I stand is much like Alice at the crossroads with the cat, asking me where do I want to go? Right now... I can say I don't know for sure, but I do know where I don't want to be, so for now I guess I'll take what I can get and press forward one day at a time, step by step, moment by moment till I make a choice. Ultimately what we do will be what we choose, I'll then be able to answer the whole question of "What do you want to be?".