Expectations

I often think that the world might be simpler without expectations. Then there are times I am reminded how important they are. Originally I had in my mind that I would write about the negative aspects of having expectations but as I actually began this post, it became very apparent that without expectations, well there wouldn't be progress or improvement.

I guess before I go into the meat of everything that I've been thinking over the past 5 minutes or so, I'll quickly summarize my original point of writing this blog, that being the negative side of having expectations. The reason I thought of this was because there have been many times in my life, where I've had expectations of some form or another, that have caused me to experience a range of emotions from mildly disappointed, to being heartbroken due to my expectations. Usually when an expectation is left unfulfilled there are negative feelings in relation to that which was expected - pretty obvious right? Many of my observations are as such.

Thus far, I am making the assumption you are in agreement with what I've stated thus far. I do admit there may be more negative things to discuss about the topic of 'Expectations' however I feel like I want to share more positive things on this topic. I definitely won't cover every aspect the positive benefits of having expectations nor do I plan to, but I will share what I feel to be relevant to me at the time, as I always do on this blog.

There are of course expectations that are realistic and understandable expectations. Some being that most adults should be able to support themselves. I not saying that people with struggles should just suck it up and get through it. No, I think that being able to support yourself means doing all that you can to progress and move forward, but also having the understanding and humility to seek help when you need it.

I actually don't remember what I had planned originally when I started this blog post so I'll leave it at that for now... maybe one day I'll figure out what I had intended but.. alas today is not the day

How not to go about finding the one... Or finding A one.

I'll preface what I say with this quote from President Ezra Taft Benson:

“Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities.

“Of course, she should be attractive to you, but do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord’s confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion.

“And one good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

As YSA sometimes we focus too much on trying to find that Disney ideal of prince charming or finding your princess on the first date. There are many people I've gone on dates with that have many qualities that are important to me and for one reason or another I haven't been able to commit to anything beyond a first or second date. I realized why this has been a case because of some experiences I've had lately. 

The first reason why I haven't been able to connect or commit to anyone I've dated in the past while has been because I was always expecting some perfect situation where there would be sparks and things would just fit. This unrealistic standard was unfair to many of the people I went on dates with. While I had fun on each of my dates and there was definitely room for the relationship to grow. My unwillingness to recognize the potential for a great relationship in them was a huge stumbling block for me.

The second reason why is because I had a positive view of my own self-worth (pride). I will always be the last to admit it, even if I am very aware of it, but I am often very prideful. What I mean is that I often feel that because I have such great qualities I think that any girl would want to date me (at least that's what happens in my head). This way of thinking is unhealthy to me and those I date because I evaluate them on a scale based on how I see myself, to see if they measure up to what my "standard" is. In retrospect I believe that many of those whom I terminated relationships with are much better than I am. To avoid being overly self deprecating I'll leave it at that.

The third reason why I haven't been able to connect with anyone is because I didn't allow myself to be vulnerable. I was always closed off and kept myself in a safe secure place emotionally. While you might not think this is bad, to protect yourself from harm and being hurt emotionally. This type of behavior doesn't allow anyone to enter emotionally either. I equate this to being in a castle with friendly visitors wanting to enter but not letting down the draw bridge. I know the reference is antiquated, much like a draw bridge requires work done to open it, for a budding relationship work too must be done for it to grow into something deeper. When I did this, these girls I dated were literally at the door waiting for me to open up and let them in. My actions effectively closed the door to progress in a relationships before it had any chance.

There are a lot of other things that I have discovered about myself over the course of the past few years with regards to dating. One of take homes from my minimal life experience is to just take risks, put yourself out there and don't be afraid of rejection. I have been rejected more times by myself before I have even given others the chance to accept or reject me.

Is this a sure fire guide to relationship success of course not, I'm single. If it were then I wouldn't be single. I still have things to learn, but most importantly I will be moving forward with what I have experienced and putting myself out there. Wish me luck guys. 

That moment when you realize you're in love

Over the past few weeks I realized I fell really hard for a friend of mine. As I saw her off at the airport a few days ago, my heart sank more than I ever thought possible. I know she didn't reject me and I didn't really let her know my feelings but I felt the most heartache I've felt in my life. For the past 2 days since she left she's been on my mind constantly in everything that I do. In thinking about the whole situation it made me realize that I am indeed in love.

What makes people fall in love? I have often pondered on this question, especially in the past 3 years when I myself have been on a constant search for love. Is there a trigger? Is it timing or luck? Or is there something deeper behind the concept of love. This is a topic I have written about many many times in this blog and on other blogs I manage, but it is something that I don't understand. The love I am talking about isn't that of familial love, or the love that comes between friends that forms a friendship. I'm referring to the passionate romantic love that helps two individuals join in purpose and desires

I'm not really sure what I want to share about this other than the fact that I'm in love and it's sort of painful but liberating at the same time.... I'll share more of my thoughts on this and update you on the status of my love life, if you should so care to read about it in a future post.

What do you want to be?

I'm at a phase in my life where every day I am being asked this exact question. "What do you want to be?" Honestly, I don't know what I want to be. Ever since I was a child my dreams have always been so wide. Some kids dreamed of being pilots, firefighters, police officers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc. What did I dream of becoming? All of those. Every job I ever could imagine or think of I have wanted to be at some point or another. Sanitation engineer, postman, public transit bus operator, librarian, professional athlete (although admittedly most boys growing up wanted to be this), the list goes on. Why is this relevant to where I'm at now? Well even today I face the same dilemma, but with the impending responsibility of being an adult now looming over me, and that same question "What do you want to be?" bludgeoning me over the head repeatedly.

"What does this have to do with anything?" you may be asking yourself. Well the reason this is such an important thing to me and to millions of people around the world is as follows. Without a goal of where we want to be in life, then it really doesn't matter where we go. I'm reminded of the cat from Alice in Wonderland written by Lewis Carol when it converses with Alice.

She asks "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?", a similar question posed by many in their 20's and onward about life? Where do I go from here? What's the next stage of life?

The cat replies "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to", when we have a goal in life of what we want to accomplish, then knowing where to go becomes a lot easier. We have steps to take in order to get to the goal and when we take action in moving forward it guides our decisions and choices.

Alice tells the cat "I don't much care where". Sometimes we don't necessarily care what we do on the day to day and for many that is fine. They are still able to live very capable fulfilling lives. For me however, it's not so much I don't care, but I feel a sense of anxiety when trying to determine the perfect path for my life.

This is where this whole thing comes full circle to me, the cat responds to her statement with the following "Then it doesn't matter much which way you go"
Alice chimes in with "So long as I get somewhere"
The cat then says something profound, which can be applied to a life without goals or direction when he says "Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough"

For most people their goals include health, happiness and prosperity in some way shape or form. Those who are driven to achieve this, attain these goals much faster than those who  have no goals or direction. The difference between the two is precisely the cat's sage advice which essentially that, in order to get to some point down the line, it will happen regardless of what we do. If we have no goals, we meander around going to and fro, and eventually we will get to where we will end up, but it takes longer, and often requires more effort to get there.I goalless life requires more work in finding where one needs to be in life.

Why bring this up or even share this? I'm not entirely sure. To me blogging has become some sort of stress relief. My life as I stand is much like Alice at the crossroads with the cat, asking me where do I want to go? Right now... I can say I don't know for sure, but I do know where I don't want to be, so for now I guess I'll take what I can get and press forward one day at a time, step by step, moment by moment till I make a choice. Ultimately what we do will be what we choose, I'll then be able to answer the whole question of "What do you want to be?".

Consistency is the Key to Success

Over the past few months I've been struggling with what I want to accomplish in life, how I want to go about doing it and have been facing some minor difficulties in moving on with my life. I don't think that this is a huge revelation to anyone, I believe the key to success isn't necessarily being great at one time, but being consistently good at whatever it is you desire to be successful at. Scores of individuals accomplish great feats at some point in their lives, and they achieve some level of success, but often fade shortly thereafter. The success I speak of is a long term, long lasting variety, in a manner in which individuals make an impact to the world. Okay, maybe not the world, but their direct community or area of influence. It may have been ambitious of me to try to post on a daily basis for a month, seeing as how I barely post every month. Part of my lack of consistency is a general lack of direction and desires - another post for another day.

There are many people who are seen as great in their respective fields, people like Michael Jordan, Picasso, William Shakespeare, or Steve Jobs, and the like (not a definitive or absolute list of great people - just the first names that came to mind). The reason they are considered great is not only because they mastered their art/trade/skill but because they were able to perform at a high level consistently. Think for a moment and try to think of 10 world record holders. I have probably seen a few here or there, and they often are in some sort of spot light when they accomplish a feat of greatness, but for the most part many are forgotten in whatever they do. The ones that are remembered are always the ones that are able to refine their skills to a point where they are able to consistently perform at a high level, and those are the ones that are able to achieve success and greatness. 

What I'm learning about myself is that I lack consistency, or rather once I do build up some steam or some level of consistency I tend to shy away from things and regress. Well I will have goals and aspirations but for now I will continue to try to be more consistent in my life and take things one step at a time. 

New Years - NEW BLOG... kinda

Well I decided to revive this blog as I've found a muse, rather I've rediscovered my muse for blogging. My has a lot of time passed since I last blogged here. I suppose now is as good of a time as any to reignite my passion for writing. I don't know how things sort of died off, a combination of summer, sadness, school and stuff (mostly laziness).

I kept saying to myself I'll blog again later, I'll blog again later and I never really did. I'm here to make good on this blog and keep it going.

So I just wanted to keep this entry short with a quick little story I came up with, just now.

Joyful and free spirited the lone wanderer travels.
Seeking for what the world has to offer,
Traveling across the land with no map in his hands.
Finding his place in the world,
Helping those along his way.
In all his adventures the thing he has found the most
Is his fondness and passion for those he loves.
Yet he continues to travel alone in this life,
Still searching the one whom he can end his travels with,
His other half who is out there somewhere,
The inspiration for his journey and goal of his quest,
For one day he will find her and he will no longer be alone
As he will have found his kindred spirit,
The one to make his joy truly full.

New starts galore!

Well, I've done this (starting over) many times and I never really feel overly motivated to do it regularly. For some reason this time I feel much more motivated than before, having said that here is the poem I promised for today. Don't expect much... I haven't done this in ages. But leave some feedback, I know there are things to work on with this poem, I sort of threw it together in 20 minutes. I didn't originally plan for it to have this form but it sort of grew this way. If you want to know more about why I wrote this or want to discuss with me about the poem. I'd be happy to share, just let me know. I will try to post a new poem each week, along with other musings in this blog. Maybe this blog, for now this is my medium of choice. Enjoy.

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Is Love Lost?

in this world of tumult and Pain,
Anger, Sorrow, Contention,
Sadness and Hurt beyond mention
will there ever be Love again?

fighting and violence throughout all the land
friends become enemies in heat of the battle
cannons explode causing houses to rattle.
can we not Love so grand?

blinded by Hate or by differing opinions
Aggression runs deep in the human condition
can there be Love, should we make it our mission?
following blindly, are we mere minions?

do we need to see another holocaust
before we realize the worth of a life.
is Compassion replaced with the wielding of a knife?
some might gain power, but at what cost?

Is Love Lost?

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Closing Time

Over the past decade or so I've worked in retail for about half of that time and there's one thing I've come to realize with respect to customers is that there are two basic customer types when you're trying to close up shop. The ones that respect the fact that the establishment is closing and do their best to leave before the shop closes up. Then there's the ones that don't care who you are as a human being and try to linger there as long as humanly possible. I never really understood why this second group of people exist. What makes them think that closing time is just a suggestion and they can disregard our store hours because they want to shop? The people I'm talking about always come in 5 minutes before the store is about to close then stay upwards of 15-20 minutes past closing time, even when we tell them that the store is closed. There are even some that have the audacity to come after we close and say "we'll be quick". Are we enabling them when we allow them to stay so long, as if to reinforce the idea that they're entitled to stay and leisurely shop as if we as workers have no place else to go. I understand their desire to shop for things they may want, but at the same time, most of these people don't usually end up buying very much. Do people inherently see retail workers as people who are at a lower class than they are? I work specifically in a gift shop where parents seem to feel that the toy store is daycare center where they can leave their children to wreak havoc in the store, throwing things around and leaving everything wherever they feel like it. But back to my main point which is that people feel entitled to linger around a store to "shop". While I know there are some people who genuinely enjoy purchasing souvenirs at tourist attraction, a majority of people just waste time as if they have no where better to be. I often wonder why it is that people do this. Do they not want to go home? Do they feel as if their day will be more fulfilling when they shop? I really don't know what it is, but I feel that people should be required to work a year of retail before entering in to the world for whatever they do so that they can get a better appreciation for people in the service industry. Whether it be in retail, food service, or other, people should just treat each other with the same respect that individuals deserve to be treated with. I guess that's the underlying theme in my rant today. Is that people need to learn how to treat others with love and respect. But that's a different story for another time.

When will it be my time?

Lately I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and where I'll be in a few years. I guess I'm at this stage in my life where people are in relationships and starting families. While here I am... losing hope. It's been like almost 3 years since I've been in a relationship and I'm starting to wonder if it's me. I know it's unhealthy to think in that way but people always say how great I am and they're always surprised to know why I'm single. I would say I'm an optimistic person but there are moments often when it comes to relationships that I just can't deal with it. Loneliness is definitely something that I experience and feel, because friends and family can only fill so much of that void in my life right now. At times like this I try to rely on my faith in God as well, and always ask when will it be my time?

Am I being punished for my past mistakes? For the choices I've made? I wish I knew...

I feel a lot of people have come in and out of my life. For good or for bad, everyone has a time in my life. I'm just searching for that one person that will want to come into my life and stay around because they want to be there. For now I'm still looking out for that person. Who it'll be? I don't know. Where will she come from? Hopefully someone I'm prepared to meet from God. When I'll meet her? I don't know. Maybe I've already met her and I don't even know it. Or maybe she hasn't come into my life yet. Still for now I think I'll just be who I am... work on myself and try to become a better person for myself and for the woman I'll meet one day.

How to get over someone?

So I really have this terrible thing with timing in life. I'm always late to the punch, or way too early. I don't know what it is. Right now I'm sort of dealing with rejection of sorts. It sort of goes along with my previous post about finding love. I really am bad at trying to get over someone. So this is always something I'm interested in because I guess so much of my life has been searching for love. Trying to understand attraction between individuals and how all that works with my life. I guess since it's a new year I will be more proactive about my love life and take more initiative like I have been doing during the latter half of the year. I think it's something that's hard for me to do because I have so many reservations and I often leave myself out there way too often in the wrong situation so it takes me a bit to recover. I often find myself being attracted to unavailable girls as well. They usually come from a land far far away, or are emotionally unavailable or some combination of both. I don't know why that is. I guess it might stem from my Wanderlust (The desire to travel the world). There is also a level of my connection with the object of my interest that I just happen to "click" well with those most unavailable to me. Or maybe I just know what I want... do I? If I did I would be more certain of my decisions in life and well yeah. I suppose that this would be a good way for me to try to get over someone. By keeping up with this blog and doing a number of other personal interest things (pursue my photography, develop my craft and creativity). Hmm... Was this a blog about how to get over someone?Or just a rant for me to help me get over someone... In any event I want to just say... Girls are stupid throw rocks at them... haha. The same applies in reverse because guys are stupid, if you throw rocks at us we will have interest in you.

Finding Love and Passions in Life

There's something about life that makes things hard, everyone is searching for happiness and love. The problem is when you think you've found it, it might not be exactly as it seems. Hmm...

I'm not sure really what I want to say right now. I just feel that this is something I should do today because I haven't done it in a while and I really want to make this a more frequent or regular thing, I just get lazy sometimes.

Recently I've decided to be more proactive in my dating life, although I think I need to work a lot on my timing. I've been a bit more open in asking people out on dates and seeking out women that I feel I have a connection with, maybe my shy nature is still a big part of who I am because I am still incredibly afraid to ask the opposite sex on dates. Even if it isn't a huge commitment, it's still one of the scariest things for me to do. I think I'm at an age where I really want to find love, but I think that can be any age. I guess I'm feeling a bit of pressure to find a relationship and eventually get married. There are times when I think is it me? Is there something wrong with me? It gets a little discouraging sometimes. I tell myself I have bad timing when it comes to these things, for the most part I feel I do. It's sort of strange because I keep hearing people say to me "you're such a great person, why are you still single?" and other things that are along those similar lines. Whenever I hear people ask me these things I have a few thoughts that usually cross my mind. The first is usually "No one loves me for who I am", the second is "I'm unattractive to the opposite sex", the third is "I need to change to make myself more attractive". I know these are very destructive thoughts to be having but I guess that's sort of my natural thought process. Whenever I lose confidence in myself, I notice that I am not as passionate about life and I usually don't feel as much love. I feel like there is a direct correlation between my levels of confidence and my ability to be loved as well as my passions in life. I think that being confident about life brings about the ability to be more passionate in all aspects of your life. I've made a goal to find my passions in life, to not be lazy and pursue those passions to the fullest so that I may find fulfillment in life. Doing things for me with the belief that if I do these things then I will be able to have love find me. At least that's what people tell me. I can't say what 2014 will bring me but here's to a great year for everyone.

I might hop on a bit later and throw out a few more notes but I suppose that's all I have for now.

Winter Driving Part 1 - Pick a lane

So just a note to all those of you who drive in Toronto, or anyone who drives in the snow. First of many,

IF you're driving on a road that has 2 lanes going one direction and 2 lanes going another direction, it is NOT okay to drive in the middle the two lanes of your respective direction. There is enough room to drive with 2 cars going either direction side by side in each individual lane. If you don't feel confident driving with another car beside you, slow down. If this still scares you, don't drive. It is not safer to drive in the middle of the road because you end up confusing the respective lanes that people have made driving through the snow before hand. If you aren't sure where your lane is, either drive close to the curb where you can judge your distance away from the curb, OR drive with enough space between you and the curb to fit another car in between.

Maybe I'm being a bit hard on lots of drivers out there, but I encountered someone who drove in the middle of 2 lanes for the longest time and would not move from the "path" they decided to take while everyone behind them was driving in 2 separate lanes. I wouldn't have been so annoyed by this person had they been going faster than 20km/h. I ended up passing the person by going half in on coming traffic when the way was clear and left everyone behind me, but seriously. UGH this is gonna be a long winter of bad drivers.

Leave your comments below, I'd love to hear about your thoughts on this.

I'll rant about these things as I see them, I know I will see more!

I am really bad at this.. life business

I always have these fantastic ideas and dreams of doing this or that, but fact of the matter is that I'm lazy. I fall out of the habit of doing things and I just find very little motivation to pick things up again and be diligent. But when I am diligent about doing various things, I really do feel fulfilled, I don't know what it is. I feel that Satan really has this part of my life in his hand. Just trying to keep me from succeeding to the potential I have and am able to achieve. I guess I have been relying on some innate talents and natural born instincts for too many years of my life and I've never really worked hard to achieve anything or develop talents that I have to become better. I've sort of been coasting my whole life, I feel as if it's time for me to finally stop the shenanigans and just make the step up to the next level, to keep progressing and try to improve myself day by day. I know this isn't going to be a day and night transformation but I hope that if I do a little each day I will be able to see those changes over the course of the upcoming year. One of the things I will try to do is to blog at least once a week, hopefully several times a week.

But for now, I should improve on getting more rest, so having said that, it's 4:15 am.. I will sleep now.

Turbulent Times

Well I'm trying to keep my distance, and you don't really realize how much you miss someone until they're gone from your life. But at the same time you realize how unimportant you were to to them. How this ended up like this I don't know, I guess we weren't meant to be. There can be any number of reasons. Excuses will be excuses. I guess lets see how things turn out... Until then I need to take some time to enjoy life get back to the basics and bring my life back to the way it was before I met you and you became my world... It's funny how much you made me fall in love with you and how quickly you don't care. Did I mean anything to you? I don't know... 

On a lighter note I passed all my classes... so that's a plus.

Too Much Going On

I can't really focus right now. My life is taking interesting turns left and right, I'm sort of just taking things as they come now.

I think I'm gonna just hermit myself for a while..

Post for the sake of posting

I realize I may just be writing to myself at this point as many of my blogs don't really have many followers... I don't think my life would be interesting enough to attract followers. In any case, updates...

Nothing really has changed. My situation is still the situation.. School is coming to a close.. exams are coming up soon.. stress will run high.. so school stress, life stress, hopefully no emotional stress but that's always the case... I think I've fallen for this girl.. as much as I tried not to let myself fall so hard.. it's happened.... now all I can do is wait.. and see... especially since I'm not the only one who's fallen for her.. Jason Mraz has a song that describes my situation right now... "I Won't Give Up"... I just hope it doesn't come to a point where I have no choice but to give up... but anything worth doing should be done with your full effort so... She is definitely someone that I feel is worth it.. despite her flaws.. but I guess... when you like someone enough you're willing to look past all that... I guess only time will tell... I wish I could fast forward life... just one time... would it be worth it?

Let it be...

I think my mood and my emotions are directly correlated with the weather. This past week the weather has been amazing and in like manner my mood has also been very much on top of the world. A lot of things happened and I've been able to put things into perspective. So as such, I think my view on life has been a lot more optimistic. In any case. I just want to let you all know that I'm positive in my outlook for the future. Live, love, laugh.

Why do I do this?

There's hope for something good, then there's just dumb hope for something that may not even come true. Right now I'm not really sure which hope I have. I'd like to think that the hope I have is something worth hoping for and waiting for. People say that you shouldn't really wait for things to come but that you should go out and get what it is that you desire. But right now I'm doing just that, waiting for something I want because... I was told to wait I guess. Is this stupid of me? I don't know... I'd like to think not but there's a huge part of me that feels I'm just wasting my time. At the same time it's that hope for something good that is making me wait... ... so what do I do?

I won't say I love her because it's something that's thrown around too much and often used so much that it's meaning has been watered down. I will say that I have a strong attraction towards this girl... but why? I really am a hopeless romantic... always hoping for things but overlooking things... I don't know.. Love is blind? maybe... Does it help that the music I love listening to is all sappy and romantic... mmm.. I don't know.. I like it though..

Growing up

I guess I've lived in this phase of my life long enough. I think it's time for me to take on more responsibility and take control of my life instead of letting things happen to me. I should start taking initiative and make things happen for me. I guess this is the sort of epiphany I've come to realize and understand... well more so finally acknowledge instead of trying to ignore it and trying to hide from it.

I hope that things go better for me as I try to make an impact on the world and stop waiting for life to interact with me. I just need to start getting to work.. and with that I guess I'm gonna get off this blog for now. Gonna start with the little things and take it one step at a time. Like everything else I do.. just take things one step at a time.

ON a totally different note, it seems the more I try to fight it the more I'm falling in love... one day at a time i guess. It seems corny or even cliche but I look forward to the mornings when I can wake up and see that good morning message from her. I'm excited every time I get a message from her. My heart sinks when she isn't around, but am always so happy when she surprises me with phone calls.
To her, I'm just another friend... but to me.. she means the world to me... I sound like some love sick teenager... *sigh* well... one day at a time... time to study and make things happen. = )

Complicated... maybe?

Sometimes I wonder why life is the way it is... sounds veryyy familiar. I think all of my blogs are starting to sound very monotonous. So I think more than anything else this has just become a vent of my emotions and a blog for my thoughts just trying to figure out things but for the world to see kinda. At times I kinda want people to find this blog. But it's sort of silly because I really don't want people to know. I guess that's why I've kept this sort of anonymous but at the same time it is on Facebook so if anyone is REALLY interested in finding out.. it's not too hard to do so.

I've sort of neglected this blog over the past little while because of school and because of well.. other things. I guess the other things category would be the reason why I've been sort of wanting to blog at times. Not really knowing how someone feels about you is sort of worrying. Is it irresponsible to sort of put things on hold and let things come as they do? I don't know people keep telling me that it is. Not really giving answers to people would be frustrating at times but then again who knows what's really going on. Waiting is another interesting thing, sometimes you wonder how long you should wait... Other times it builds patience and love over time. Personally I'm not too sure if there's a suggested waiting time. I guess it depends on how you feel about the situation. Case by case sort of thing. As for me I'm not really sure.. I suppose I'll wait but I might just be setting myself up for nothing. It's a risk I'm gonna take I guess. The best things in life are worth waiting for, I just hope I'm waiting for something rather than nothing...

Don't you wish you could have the power to figure out things without having to go through problems and trials? I guess not having problems and trials would make life too easy... Hurt and pain are sort of required for happiness and love to blossom even greater. I guess in these times we just need to have the faith to say, it's in your hands and all I can do is have a positive attitude about the situation. Whatever may happen, I just want to be happy. In the end I suppose that's all one could ask for.

On another note I've found this quote I really like that has probably floated around a bit but I just wanted to share it with you all... whoever may be following this.. Enjoy!

"The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all of your flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing"