Lately I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and where I'll be in a few years. I guess I'm at this stage in my life where people are in relationships and starting families. While here I am... losing hope. It's been like almost 3 years since I've been in a relationship and I'm starting to wonder if it's me. I know it's unhealthy to think in that way but people always say how great I am and they're always surprised to know why I'm single. I would say I'm an optimistic person but there are moments often when it comes to relationships that I just can't deal with it. Loneliness is definitely something that I experience and feel, because friends and family can only fill so much of that void in my life right now. At times like this I try to rely on my faith in God as well, and always ask when will it be my time?
Am I being punished for my past mistakes? For the choices I've made? I wish I knew...
I feel a lot of people have come in and out of my life. For good or for bad, everyone has a time in my life. I'm just searching for that one person that will want to come into my life and stay around because they want to be there. For now I'm still looking out for that person. Who it'll be? I don't know. Where will she come from? Hopefully someone I'm prepared to meet from God. When I'll meet her? I don't know. Maybe I've already met her and I don't even know it. Or maybe she hasn't come into my life yet. Still for now I think I'll just be who I am... work on myself and try to become a better person for myself and for the woman I'll meet one day.
Showing posts with label #dailydreamer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #dailydreamer. Show all posts
Monday, 12 May 2014
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Finding Love and Passions in Life
There's something about life that makes things hard, everyone is searching for happiness and love. The problem is when you think you've found it, it might not be exactly as it seems. Hmm...
I'm not sure really what I want to say right now. I just feel that this is something I should do today because I haven't done it in a while and I really want to make this a more frequent or regular thing, I just get lazy sometimes.
Recently I've decided to be more proactive in my dating life, although I think I need to work a lot on my timing. I've been a bit more open in asking people out on dates and seeking out women that I feel I have a connection with, maybe my shy nature is still a big part of who I am because I am still incredibly afraid to ask the opposite sex on dates. Even if it isn't a huge commitment, it's still one of the scariest things for me to do. I think I'm at an age where I really want to find love, but I think that can be any age. I guess I'm feeling a bit of pressure to find a relationship and eventually get married. There are times when I think is it me? Is there something wrong with me? It gets a little discouraging sometimes. I tell myself I have bad timing when it comes to these things, for the most part I feel I do. It's sort of strange because I keep hearing people say to me "you're such a great person, why are you still single?" and other things that are along those similar lines. Whenever I hear people ask me these things I have a few thoughts that usually cross my mind. The first is usually "No one loves me for who I am", the second is "I'm unattractive to the opposite sex", the third is "I need to change to make myself more attractive". I know these are very destructive thoughts to be having but I guess that's sort of my natural thought process. Whenever I lose confidence in myself, I notice that I am not as passionate about life and I usually don't feel as much love. I feel like there is a direct correlation between my levels of confidence and my ability to be loved as well as my passions in life. I think that being confident about life brings about the ability to be more passionate in all aspects of your life. I've made a goal to find my passions in life, to not be lazy and pursue those passions to the fullest so that I may find fulfillment in life. Doing things for me with the belief that if I do these things then I will be able to have love find me. At least that's what people tell me. I can't say what 2014 will bring me but here's to a great year for everyone.
I might hop on a bit later and throw out a few more notes but I suppose that's all I have for now.
I'm not sure really what I want to say right now. I just feel that this is something I should do today because I haven't done it in a while and I really want to make this a more frequent or regular thing, I just get lazy sometimes.
Recently I've decided to be more proactive in my dating life, although I think I need to work a lot on my timing. I've been a bit more open in asking people out on dates and seeking out women that I feel I have a connection with, maybe my shy nature is still a big part of who I am because I am still incredibly afraid to ask the opposite sex on dates. Even if it isn't a huge commitment, it's still one of the scariest things for me to do. I think I'm at an age where I really want to find love, but I think that can be any age. I guess I'm feeling a bit of pressure to find a relationship and eventually get married. There are times when I think is it me? Is there something wrong with me? It gets a little discouraging sometimes. I tell myself I have bad timing when it comes to these things, for the most part I feel I do. It's sort of strange because I keep hearing people say to me "you're such a great person, why are you still single?" and other things that are along those similar lines. Whenever I hear people ask me these things I have a few thoughts that usually cross my mind. The first is usually "No one loves me for who I am", the second is "I'm unattractive to the opposite sex", the third is "I need to change to make myself more attractive". I know these are very destructive thoughts to be having but I guess that's sort of my natural thought process. Whenever I lose confidence in myself, I notice that I am not as passionate about life and I usually don't feel as much love. I feel like there is a direct correlation between my levels of confidence and my ability to be loved as well as my passions in life. I think that being confident about life brings about the ability to be more passionate in all aspects of your life. I've made a goal to find my passions in life, to not be lazy and pursue those passions to the fullest so that I may find fulfillment in life. Doing things for me with the belief that if I do these things then I will be able to have love find me. At least that's what people tell me. I can't say what 2014 will bring me but here's to a great year for everyone.
I might hop on a bit later and throw out a few more notes but I suppose that's all I have for now.
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