Closing Time

Over the past decade or so I've worked in retail for about half of that time and there's one thing I've come to realize with respect to customers is that there are two basic customer types when you're trying to close up shop. The ones that respect the fact that the establishment is closing and do their best to leave before the shop closes up. Then there's the ones that don't care who you are as a human being and try to linger there as long as humanly possible. I never really understood why this second group of people exist. What makes them think that closing time is just a suggestion and they can disregard our store hours because they want to shop? The people I'm talking about always come in 5 minutes before the store is about to close then stay upwards of 15-20 minutes past closing time, even when we tell them that the store is closed. There are even some that have the audacity to come after we close and say "we'll be quick". Are we enabling them when we allow them to stay so long, as if to reinforce the idea that they're entitled to stay and leisurely shop as if we as workers have no place else to go. I understand their desire to shop for things they may want, but at the same time, most of these people don't usually end up buying very much. Do people inherently see retail workers as people who are at a lower class than they are? I work specifically in a gift shop where parents seem to feel that the toy store is daycare center where they can leave their children to wreak havoc in the store, throwing things around and leaving everything wherever they feel like it. But back to my main point which is that people feel entitled to linger around a store to "shop". While I know there are some people who genuinely enjoy purchasing souvenirs at tourist attraction, a majority of people just waste time as if they have no where better to be. I often wonder why it is that people do this. Do they not want to go home? Do they feel as if their day will be more fulfilling when they shop? I really don't know what it is, but I feel that people should be required to work a year of retail before entering in to the world for whatever they do so that they can get a better appreciation for people in the service industry. Whether it be in retail, food service, or other, people should just treat each other with the same respect that individuals deserve to be treated with. I guess that's the underlying theme in my rant today. Is that people need to learn how to treat others with love and respect. But that's a different story for another time.

When will it be my time?

Lately I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and where I'll be in a few years. I guess I'm at this stage in my life where people are in relationships and starting families. While here I am... losing hope. It's been like almost 3 years since I've been in a relationship and I'm starting to wonder if it's me. I know it's unhealthy to think in that way but people always say how great I am and they're always surprised to know why I'm single. I would say I'm an optimistic person but there are moments often when it comes to relationships that I just can't deal with it. Loneliness is definitely something that I experience and feel, because friends and family can only fill so much of that void in my life right now. At times like this I try to rely on my faith in God as well, and always ask when will it be my time?

Am I being punished for my past mistakes? For the choices I've made? I wish I knew...

I feel a lot of people have come in and out of my life. For good or for bad, everyone has a time in my life. I'm just searching for that one person that will want to come into my life and stay around because they want to be there. For now I'm still looking out for that person. Who it'll be? I don't know. Where will she come from? Hopefully someone I'm prepared to meet from God. When I'll meet her? I don't know. Maybe I've already met her and I don't even know it. Or maybe she hasn't come into my life yet. Still for now I think I'll just be who I am... work on myself and try to become a better person for myself and for the woman I'll meet one day.

How to get over someone?

So I really have this terrible thing with timing in life. I'm always late to the punch, or way too early. I don't know what it is. Right now I'm sort of dealing with rejection of sorts. It sort of goes along with my previous post about finding love. I really am bad at trying to get over someone. So this is always something I'm interested in because I guess so much of my life has been searching for love. Trying to understand attraction between individuals and how all that works with my life. I guess since it's a new year I will be more proactive about my love life and take more initiative like I have been doing during the latter half of the year. I think it's something that's hard for me to do because I have so many reservations and I often leave myself out there way too often in the wrong situation so it takes me a bit to recover. I often find myself being attracted to unavailable girls as well. They usually come from a land far far away, or are emotionally unavailable or some combination of both. I don't know why that is. I guess it might stem from my Wanderlust (The desire to travel the world). There is also a level of my connection with the object of my interest that I just happen to "click" well with those most unavailable to me. Or maybe I just know what I want... do I? If I did I would be more certain of my decisions in life and well yeah. I suppose that this would be a good way for me to try to get over someone. By keeping up with this blog and doing a number of other personal interest things (pursue my photography, develop my craft and creativity). Hmm... Was this a blog about how to get over someone?Or just a rant for me to help me get over someone... In any event I want to just say... Girls are stupid throw rocks at them... haha. The same applies in reverse because guys are stupid, if you throw rocks at us we will have interest in you.

Finding Love and Passions in Life

There's something about life that makes things hard, everyone is searching for happiness and love. The problem is when you think you've found it, it might not be exactly as it seems. Hmm...

I'm not sure really what I want to say right now. I just feel that this is something I should do today because I haven't done it in a while and I really want to make this a more frequent or regular thing, I just get lazy sometimes.

Recently I've decided to be more proactive in my dating life, although I think I need to work a lot on my timing. I've been a bit more open in asking people out on dates and seeking out women that I feel I have a connection with, maybe my shy nature is still a big part of who I am because I am still incredibly afraid to ask the opposite sex on dates. Even if it isn't a huge commitment, it's still one of the scariest things for me to do. I think I'm at an age where I really want to find love, but I think that can be any age. I guess I'm feeling a bit of pressure to find a relationship and eventually get married. There are times when I think is it me? Is there something wrong with me? It gets a little discouraging sometimes. I tell myself I have bad timing when it comes to these things, for the most part I feel I do. It's sort of strange because I keep hearing people say to me "you're such a great person, why are you still single?" and other things that are along those similar lines. Whenever I hear people ask me these things I have a few thoughts that usually cross my mind. The first is usually "No one loves me for who I am", the second is "I'm unattractive to the opposite sex", the third is "I need to change to make myself more attractive". I know these are very destructive thoughts to be having but I guess that's sort of my natural thought process. Whenever I lose confidence in myself, I notice that I am not as passionate about life and I usually don't feel as much love. I feel like there is a direct correlation between my levels of confidence and my ability to be loved as well as my passions in life. I think that being confident about life brings about the ability to be more passionate in all aspects of your life. I've made a goal to find my passions in life, to not be lazy and pursue those passions to the fullest so that I may find fulfillment in life. Doing things for me with the belief that if I do these things then I will be able to have love find me. At least that's what people tell me. I can't say what 2014 will bring me but here's to a great year for everyone.

I might hop on a bit later and throw out a few more notes but I suppose that's all I have for now.